Tagged: 2020 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone

2020 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone – A book-read

300 jokes out of a total of 2600 read and commented.

I wrote and illustrated the book. I had also designed its cover. The book was already formatted to look like a real one from day one. Now, someone at a literary agency or book publisher needs to look at the book and take a decision.

I took 300 jokes out of the 2600 and printed it. (Unfortunately, no edge-to-edge printing for the cover.) I bound it and made it look like a real book. In true DIY/maker or programmer style, I created a demo video of the product (even though this is a book). It took me forever to complete the book-read and edit it. The recording did not have many words that I spoke so I removed the audio. In place of the audio, I have added subtitles for the entire length.

http://www.vsubhash.com/2020-mint-fresh-jokes-book.html

The jokes start at 20 minutes.

  • Part 1 – Children’s Jokes, computer jokes, cross-the-road jokes, animal jokes, physics jokes, chemistry jokes, biology jokes…
  • Part 2 – Bar jokes, blonde jokes, financial jokes…
  • Part 3 – Confucius-say jokes, ethnic jokes, political jokes…

2020 JokeBook book-read

#2020JokeBook: 2020 + 400 jokes complete, name changed, front cover ready

Currently, I am illustrating the book.

I changed Annexure 3 to ‘About the author’. The ‘hot’ political jokes have been eliminated. The political correctness problem has had one good effect. I have now divided the book into three parts – For Kids, For Adults and For Intellectuals. The last part has the political content. Total number of such jokes should be less than 20.

I added an Annexure 4 containing acknowledgements. For the blonde jokes, I had planned to use Linda Evangelista. My B/W image is not really a cartoon but a photograph outline. I changed her hair to white make her look as a blonde for the blonde jokes section. Some people say that such outlines are not original works. I can dispute that but do not want the hassle. Now, Donald Trump has taken the place of the blonde. For the Latin jokes section, I took the outline of Crisaide Mendes but her face is empty. So, no copyright problem there. Her feet came from a photo of another person. Her hands had to be constructed out of my imagination.

Name Changed

The “mint-fresh” part was problematic. What if someone claims it is not all mint-fresh? Some of the stuff that I have written is so profound and over the top in quality that I have doubts that I came up with it. I am great but not that great. Or, am I? What if I read them somewhere and then thought that I came up with it? A man’s imagination and memory can play tricks. I did not want to take changes. I changed it to “Fresh Clean”. A few jokes are what I had heard in the 80s. They have been “re-freshed” now. They are fresh now, but not mint-fresh. They are like fresh from the fridge.

New Cover

#2020 #Jokebook – Confucius say #jokes added – 2220 jokes complete

Only 200 more jokes to reach target

I decided not to have the Indian edition. All problematic jokes have been moved to Annexure 3, which will not be published. Annexure 1 contains my vintage radio shows article so that readers will be able to relate to the blonde writer jokes. Blonde writer is based on Archie of Duffy’s Tavern radio show. Annexure 2 has a few of the popular Annaiyum-Urumbum jokes, which are the basis for my Elephant-and-Ant Jokes.

I wrote lots of new Off-The-Wall Philosopher jokes. It contains a lot of thought-provoking ideas couched in humour. I also created a new section called ‘Confucius say jokes’, based on Zookie of Mel Blanc Show. Mel Blanc Show is featured in Annexure 1. Most ‘Confucius say jokes’ on the Net are dirty jokes. I did not take that route.

I don’t know if I came up with this or I read it somewhere . I included it even though there is no humour in it other than the fact that it rhymes.

Political jokes section has jokes use politically correct names for non-political things.

2020 #JokeBook: 2020 #Jokes complete – More needs to be written

There is no space for political jokes because everyone is offended easily.

CNN report - #BlueForSudan hashtag offends Na'vi
I wrote a lot of political jokes yesterday and today, and reached the target of 2020 jokes. Unfortunately, this is not enough. Given the level of censorship and the need to control the narrative in the West, I do not think the jokes I have written will be welcome there. Even journalists lack a sense of humour and get offended easily. They mistake rhetorical claims and sarcastic observations as serious assertions. This book will not survive there.

A comedian cannot be too political. Politics tends to be divisive. But, politicians provide the best material. Art Buchwald said he endorsed Reagan because he knew Regan would provide the best material for his column. What a dilemma!

Another problem with some of the jokes is their longevity. In a few years, people will not have the context for these jokes and the jokes will not be funny anymore. For example, in this CNN joke, unless you are familiar with the film Avatar and Social Media, it is not funny. However, I can tell this physics joke to a student in China and it will still be funny.

A neutron and a neutrino walk into a bar
A neutron and a neutrino walk into a bar and order drinks. To the neutron, the bartender says, “For you, no charge!”. To the neutrino, the bartender, “That will be two bucks.” The neutrino is upset by this and says, “Hey, I am also neutral.” For that, the bartender says, “Yeah, but he carries more weight.”

I read some out-of-copyright jokebooks published many decades ago. They are not funny now. Were they funny in their time? A clever joke here, a turn of phrase there, but the bulk of these books had nothing great or substantial. I would like my book to be dense with jokes of high quality that can transcend generations.

I need to write at least 400 more extra jokes to account for this loss and for the possible existence of already published jokes. When it is done, the Indian edition will have all the jokes. Foreign editions will not have most of these chapters – ‘Political Jokes’ and ‘News & Journalism Jokes’ and some other snowflake-unfriendly jokes.

2020 JokeBook: I can write poems for no rhyme or reason – 1920 jokes completed

Phobia and mania jokes shoot towards 300

I can’t remember how or why I started writing this book but it has been one of the most useful decisions I made in my life. In the last week, I discovered that I can write poems! In all my life, I’ve written one or two immature little poems in Tamizh (lost 20 years ago) and only one in English (remains classified) but the three new poems that I have written are top notch. They are super funny and they rhyme. It took only a few minutes.

Here are two of the poems. The terrorist who bites the grenade has been done before but not this way. I am very proud of it.

Jokes: Hindsight walks into a bar and the bartender says it is 2020

I know it is not 2020 yet but I want to stake claim for coming up with this joke before anyone else. When it is the year 2020 or by the time this book is completed and published, almost everyone familiar with the ‘Hindsight is 20/20’ saying will be saying they invented it on their own.

Some of the newest jokes in my book “2020 Mint-Fresh Jokes For Everyone”
http://www.vsubhash.com/2020-fresh-clean-jokes-book.html

2020 Mint-Fresh Jokes

More jokes from my book “2020 Mint-Fresh Jokes For Everyone”
http://www.vsubhash.com/2020-fresh-clean-jokes-book.html

The hindsight joke is part of a “bar jokes” chapter.

Bar Jokes

Bar Jokes from my book 2020 Mint-Fresh Jokes For Everyone

Sub-par jokes that could not make it to the “2020 Fresh Clean Jokes” book

This post will be updated frequently over the next year.

Like jewellery-making, joke writing incurs some unavoidable wastage. These jokes needed a home. My 2020 Mint-Fresh Jokes For Everyone book could not take it. Here it is.

  • Uranus walks into a bar
    Uranus walks into a bar and immediately he is the butt of his friends’ jokes.
  • Why did the female dung beetle refuse to go out with the male dung beetle?
    She is bat-???? crazy.
  • UPDATE: Like in English, you can make really silly mistakes when writing French.
    funny brassier joke
  • UPDATE:
    A nudist walks into a topless bar
    A nudist walks into a topless bar but the bartender stops him, “Sorry, customers are not allowed to bare themselves.”
  • UPDATE (520 Jokes complete): This joke is unsuitable for kids as it refers to certain body processes.
  • UPDATE (1420 Jokes complete): The first joke was invented as a biology joke but it also falls under toilet humour, a no-no. The second one is ambiguous a double entendre. It was inspired by the vintage radio show Fibber and Molly.
    sub-par jokes. It was promoted by a wax company.
  • UPDATE (1620 Jokes complete): There is a “what-if” chapter.

    What would happens if aliens could contact us

    What would happens if aliens could contact us

  • Update (2020 jokes complete):
  • Update (Excerpts video complete): Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret. So, what is the secret? Rajinikanth!
  • Update (Excerpts video edited and uploaded): A Confucius-joke about magazine centrefolds.

Excerpts from the book

    • A blonde joke. I know it is wrong to laugh at ones own jokes but this is very clever and makes me smile every time.
      A blonde joke
    • Some others: Under various topics. The Your Highness knock knock jokes is my favorite.
      More jokes from the book
    • Update: Before writing this book, I did not realize I was capable of thinking along these lines.

      Toad joke

      Why did the toad cross the road?

    • Update (220 jokes): The scientific jokes section has been split into Physics Jokes, Chemistry Jokes and Biology Jokes. Some Biology Jokes was moved into a new Medical Jokes category. I am surprised I am able to write jokes like this. Lighter vein… that’s a hoot. The slipped disc joke is clever and may not be understood by everyone.
      Medical Jokes
    • Update (420 jokes complete): Financial Jokes is a category.Superman has no immovable assets.
      Linux trumps Windows as usual.Why so many viruses attack MS Windows
    • Update (1020 jokes complete): Vampires do not form a reflection in mirrors. This can be a problem sometimes.
      Dracula's persona reflecion

      Pyschiatrist asks Dracula to try some personal reflection

      A friend once challenged me along these lines and at that time I had no idea how to approach the problem.

      Whale transport by train

      How to transport a whale by train

    • Update (1120 jokes complete): I saw the 1963 movie Comedy of Terrors starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Boris Karloff. It inspired several jokes about funeral home ads.
    • Update (1220 joke complete): It is getting more and more difficult as I near the 2020 target. A lot of jokes I think up when I am away from the computer get erased from my memory before I get to the computer.

      Wanted Secret Agent

      Quantum Computer joke


The name

My original choice for the book name was “1001 Good Clean Jokes For Everyone.” But, there was already a “1000 jokes” book and a “Good Clean” joke book. There is also a “squeaky-clean” joke book too. I thought of using the “Really Ultimate” nomenclature employed in my website (for the Javascript benchmark, browser-sniffer code and the universal stylesheet). Even that is already usurped by some jokesters. Then, I checked “mint-fresh jokes”, as that is the USP of my book. Almost all the jokes are new and all written by one person. In fact, most of the jokes don’t even exist now. They are going to be written. Fortunately, there are no joke books right now with that name. Unfortunately, that the joke count has doubled.

Web search results for the name

Search results for “mint-fresh jokes” and “mint fresh jokes”

UPDATE (2020 + 400 complete): I have changed the name from “Mint-Fresh” to “Fresh Clean”. No books have been written with that in the title yet.