Tagged: book review

2019-09-20

2020 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone – A book-read

300 jokes out of a total of 2600 read and commented.

I wrote and illustrated the book. I had also designed its cover. The book was already formatted to look like a real one from day one. Now, someone at a literary agency or book publisher needs to look at the book and take a decision.

I took 300 jokes out of the 2600 and printed it. (Unfortunately, no edge-to-edge printing for the cover.) I bound it and made it look like a real book. In true DIY/maker or programmer style, I created a demo video of the product (even though this is a book). It took me forever to complete the book-read and edit it. The recording did not have many words that I spoke so I removed the audio. In place of the audio, I have added subtitles for the entire length.

http://www.vsubhash.com/2020-fresh-clean-jokes-book.html

The jokes start at 20 minutes.

Part 1 – Children’s Jokes, computer jokes, cross-the-road jokes, animal jokes, physics jokes, chemistry jokes, biology jokes…
Part 2 – Bar jokes, blonde jokes, financial jokes…
Part 3 – Confucius-say jokes, ethnic jokes, political jokes…

2019-03-23

Sub-par jokes that could not make it to the “2020 Fresh Clean Jokes” book

This post will be updated frequently over the next year.

Like jewellery-making, joke writing incurs some unavoidable wastage. These jokes needed a home. My 2020 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone could not take it. Here it is.

Uranus walks into a bar
Uranus walks into a bar and immediately he is the butt of his friends’ jokes.
Why did the female dung beetle refuse to go out with the male dung beetle?
She is bat-???? crazy.
UPDATE: Like in English, you can make really silly mistakes when writing French.
UPDATE:
A nudist walks into a topless bar
A nudist walks into a topless bar but the bartender stops him, “Sorry, customers are not allowed to bare themselves.”
UPDATE (520 Jokes complete): This joke is unsuitable for kids as it refers to certain body processes.
UPDATE (1420 Jokes complete): The first joke was invented as a biology joke but it also falls under toilet humour, a no-no. The second one is ~~ambiguous~~ a double entendre. It was inspired by the vintage radio show Fibber and Molly.
. It was promoted by a wax company.
UPDATE (1620 Jokes complete): There is a “what-if” chapter.
What would happens if aliens could contact us
Update (2020 jokes complete):
Update (Excerpts video complete): Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret. So, what is the secret? Rajinikanth!
Update (Excerpts video edited and uploaded): A Confucius-joke about magazine centrefolds.

Excerpts from the book

- A blonde joke. I know it is wrong to laugh at ones own jokes but this is very clever and makes me smile every time.
- Some others: Under various topics. The Your Highness knock knock jokes is my favorite.
- Update: Before writing this book, I did not realize I was capable of thinking along these lines.
  Why did the toad cross the road?
- Update (220 jokes): The scientific jokes section has been split into Physics Jokes, Chemistry Jokes and Biology Jokes. Some Biology Jokes was moved into a new Medical Jokes category. I am surprised I am able to write jokes like this. Lighter vein… that’s a hoot. The slipped disc joke is clever and may not be understood by everyone.
- Update (420 jokes complete): Financial Jokes is a category.
  Linux trumps Windows as usual.
- Update (1020 jokes complete): Vampires do not form a reflection in mirrors. This can be a problem sometimes.
  Pyschiatrist asks Dracula to try some personal reflection
  
  A friend once challenged me along these lines and at that time I had no idea how to approach the problem.
  
  How to transport a whale by train
- Update (1120 jokes complete): I saw the 1963 movie Comedy of Terrors starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Boris Karloff. It inspired several jokes about funeral home ads.
- Update (1220 joke complete): It is getting more and more difficult as I near the 2020 target. A lot of jokes I think up when I am away from the computer get erased from my memory before I get to the computer.
  Quantum Computer joke

The name

My original choice for the book name was “1001 Good Clean Jokes For Everyone.” But, there was already a “1000 jokes” book and a “Good Clean” joke book. There is also a “squeaky-clean” joke book too. I thought of using the “Really Ultimate” nomenclature employed in my website (for the Javascript benchmark, browser-sniffer code and the universal stylesheet). Even that is already usurped by some jokesters. Then, I checked “mint-fresh jokes”, as that is the USP of my book. Almost all the jokes are new and all written by one person. In fact, most of the jokes don’t even exist now. They are going to be written. Fortunately, there are no joke books right now with that name. Unfortunately, that the joke count has doubled.